Getting through a divorce can be a bit easier if you are prepared and informed about the process. But preparing for divorce sounds too rational and calculating. Isn’t it?
No, preparing for divorce doesn’t have to be a bad thing. On the contrary, it can be one of the smartest moves that you can do when facing the end of your marriage. There can be many reasons for deciding to file for a divorce against your spouse. Make sure that you will figure out your futures finances or start saving money. Even more, if you are going to be a single parent you may also want to prepare your child or children for a new situation.
The more prepared you are, the less time and money will be spent during a divorce. Peter Fisher Lawyers have listed the six most important tips that can help you during this difficult time.
Face your emotions first
It may seem obvious that you want to get divorced, but this decision is indeed emotional and you need to take the time to face your emotions. If you allow your emotions to overwhelm you, that may lead to anger and make your situation even harder.
Try to stay rational and get back in control by organizing all the important details.
Hire a good divorce lawyer
There are many things for which you’ll need legal help — from child custody to distribution of property.
It is ideal to consult with a few lawyers who are highly specialized in divorce. When your divorce deals with specific types of problems, be sure that the person you have chosen as your legal representative is qualified to handle your case. For more help with this part of the process, check our tips on how to choose a good family lawyer.
Gather all the documents you’ll need before filing for divorce. Your payslips, online and offline financial account records, and any other papers with the records of your finances. The more you can organise this information, the less money you’ll spend to have your lawyer do it for you. For some, this part of the process could be a distraction, while others find it hard enough to pay more to deal with all the documentation by themselves.
Know your finances
Now, you may also want to get a clear picture of where you are standing financially. What are the assests of your spouse? What are the shared assests of your marriage?
It’s good to:
- Create a list of all the assets and liabilities that you have
- Gather proof of income
- Evaluate joint financial accounts
- Close all joint credit accounts
- Make a post-divorce budget
Minimise the damage to your kids
It’s not surprising that studies have shown that the more parents fight during a divorce, the more damaging the whole process is to their children. Make sure to remind yourself of this essential fact and make an effort to think twice before you speak negatively to your future ex-spouse.
Depending on the age of your children, you should also determine goals for custody. It’s a good idea to sit and review work schedules as well as your children’s schedule. Find an arrangement that will give you both time with the children and that won’t affect the lifestyle of your children.
Have Reasonable Expectations
It’s crucial to make peace with your divorce and have reasonable expectations. Some of the first steps are being honest with your lawyer and your spouse, but above all – being honest with yourself. Getting divorced isn’t really a bad thing. It doesn’t mean anything by itself. It only means that your marriage didn’t work and – guess what? – that happens. You should move on with an eye on your kids and your future.
Take note that it is normal that you are feeling low, angry or depressed, but if you are having a hard time going through all of these negative emotions, don’t be ashamed to look for the help of a therapist. This mental health professional can make getting over your divorce less painful. Of course, you must also remember to find the right lawyer for your case.